I awoke from another night of lost sleep. Our little farmhouse was still, except for my movement toward the coffee pot and the cat eyes watching me. They were tracking my every move, anticipating that I'd soon be headed for the stash of canned salmon. After a long night of waiting, they would each be getting their portion.

My mind was quick to wander to all that seemed wrong in my corner of the world and beyond—the sin, brokenness, and challenging relationships. The weight of these thoughts threatened to overshadow the day, to drag me into a pit of despair and even anger. But then, in that quiet moment, truth pressed into my heart: "The Lord is my portion." Psalm 16:5-6 surfaced in my spirit, reminding me of a choice. I could choose to eat of the world's chaos like the cats were now devouring their breakfast, or I could choose for myself the better portion – the goodness of God. I could pour over an orphan mentality (living and thinking like I am without a Heavenly Father) like the morning coffee was now brewing and pouring into the carafe, or I could meditate on my security in Christ by faith in my Heavenly Father’s unwavering love for me as His adopted child.

“The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.” -Psalm 16:5-6

Choosing Him as my portion meant more than just a fleeting, half-awake, momentary decision. It was a deliberate, ongoing act of living by faith, repentance, and a declaration of who I am in Christ. As His beloved daughter, I rejected the mentality that tried to take hold of me in my weakness. I am not alone or without hope in the world. I am in Him, and in Him I have found joy over salvation and rescue that can stamp out the bitterness of unmet human kindness. His peace, forgiveness, and grace replace the lure of revenge and anger. Indeed, it is my inheritance.

I poured a cup of coffee as the Spirit poured goodness and grace into my heart. I scooped out more portions for the cats and allowed His presence to fill my heart. In that sacred moment, I remembered that clinging to Christ is not just a tool to get through the moment—it IS life itself. It is what a relationship with Him looks like. All that I need for life and godliness is wrapped up in Him. So, I chose to see the new day, not through eyes clouded by the world's brokenness, but through the lens of His unwavering mercy and grace through Christ and eternal hope that springs from that.

I am asking myself, “What Portion Am I Choosing?”

Am I and are you choosing the most satisfying and sustaining portion, The Lord, or are we choosing something else? What is that portion leading us toward?
Choosing the Lord will lead us away from sin, unbelief, and distrust and toward grace, truth, and the fruit of the spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galations 5:22-23). Choosing any other portion will leave us unsatisfied and hungry for more.

I pray that Psalm 16 will encourage our hearts to choose the Lord as our portion and that we will be satiated with His goodness.

"Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge.
I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord;
I have no good apart from you.”

As for the saints in the land, they are the excellent ones,
in whom is all my delight.

The sorrows of those who run after another god shall multiply;
their drink offerings of blood I will not pour out
or take their names on my lips.

The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup;
you hold my lot.
The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.

I bless the Lord who gives me counsel;
in the night also my heart instructs me.
I have set the Lord always before me;
because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.

Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices;
my flesh also dwells secure.
For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,
or let your holy one see corruption.

You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

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